Dragonball Z: Comedic Adventures
by Blscc4
Summary: Takes place shortly after Six Flags DBZ Adventure. Sorry it took so long but here it is Episode 1 ENJOY!
1. Vegeta becomes Gym teacher

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ etc

**Dragonball Z: Comedic Adventures!**

Episode 1: Vegeta becomes a Gym teacher

There was only 5 days left until the Cell Games. Bulma suggested that in that time Vegeta and Goku should get jobs. Vegeta became a gym teacher and Goku became a substitute teacher at Orange Star High School.

Vegeta: I can't believe my slut wife made us get jobs with 5 days left until the cell games!

Goku: Yea Vegeta but your job is easy all you have to do is tell the class to do stuff and then you sleep in a chair.

Vegeta: Like you do anything else! Your a substitute for gods sake all you do is sit their and tell the class to play tic tac toe or some shit!

Vegeta and Goku walked into the school where they met the Principal

Principal: Hello there, you must be Goku and Vegeta.

Goku: Yes we are

Principal: Great I'm Principal Edwards I'm your Princi-PAL ahahaha get it Pal...

Vegeta: YEA WE GOT IT, IT JUST WASN'T FUNNY!!

Principal: (**Cough) **Okay well anyways here's your schedules for today and have a good day school ends at 3.

Goku: Wow looks like I'm subbing for a chemistry class today.

Vegeta: Hehehe I have wait training this should be interesting.

Vegeta: Well see you later clown!

Vegeta and Goku went there seperate ways.

Vegeta walked into his weight training class.

Gangster Kid: Damn thats a ugly ass nigga!

Vegeta: Good Morning brats I'm your new gym teacher Vegeta!

Gangster Kid: Prwwwww ahahahahah Vegeta what you some kind of retarded vegetable or some shit!

Vegeta: What did you say!

Gangster Kid: Yo sonic the hedgehog don't get me cracken Igght!

Vegeta: I have no idea what you just said so because of Mr. OG over here you all will have to do 1000 push ups NOW!

Everyone: 1000!

Vegeta: Thats right!

James: Thats impossible it can't be done were not super humans!

Vegeta: Oh it can be done watch

Vegeta dropped down in push up formation

1 hour later

Vegeta: 1000

Vegeta: I told you

The whole class had their jaws hanging on the floor.

Suddenly the bell rang

Vegeta: Well brats I'll see you tomorrow

Meanwhile

Goku: Hello class I'm your new substitute teacher for today!

Rick: Shut the fuck up!

Goku: Hey thats not very nice!

Rick: Sorry I hurt your feelings retard...

Goku: Apologies accepted

Rick: ?? (Is he retarded or something)

Goku: Anyways your teachers out today because he got into a car accident

Rick: Dammit

Goku: What?

Rick: Nothing I was hoping he died!

Class: AHAHAHAHHAA

Goku: Hey thats not nice you guys

Class: Shut the fuck up

Goku: What ever you jerks do what you want.

Goku walked over to a chair and fell asleep.

He awoke an hour later when the bell rang

Rick: See ya later dick weed!

Goku: Have a nice day faggot!

Goku: Aw what the fuck my ass is glued to the chair mother fucker

**Period 2**

Vegeta was currently in his wrestling class

Vegeta: Alright brats I'm your new gym teacher Vegeta.

Jimmy: And??

Vegeta: Oh GOD DAMMIT IS EVERYONE IN THIS SCHOOL ALWAYS TRYING TO PLAY GANGSTER!

Jimmy: I believe the proper pronunciation is gangsta ahahahha

Vegeta: No

Class: No

Vegeta: Just go kill yourself right now

Class: Right now!

Jimmy: Oh whatever fuck you guys.

As Jimmy made his way out of the gym he slipped on a used condom fell and cracked his head open.

Jimmy: My head...

Vegeta: Shut the fuck up

Vegeta then threw Jimmy into the janitors closet and closed the door.

Vegeta: Okay lets get our first wrestling match started...

Vegeta: Jonathen vs. umm wtf Erwin!?

Jonathen was a very built strong looking guy about 6"2 while Erwin was a scrawny little nerd at about Vegeta's height.

Vegeta: You've got to be kidding how did a little pussy like you get stuck in wrestling

Erwin: (Snort) my mommy says I have to be more active (snort)

Vegeta then walked over and began banging his head against the wall

Vegeta: Why me why me!! First fucken Six Flags and now this I swear I'm going to fucken kill that women!!

Jonathen: Sir you okay?

Vegeta: Just fuck that kid up already!

Jonathen: Okay

Vegeta: Ring the bell!

As the bell rang Jonathen charged at Erwin

Erwin: Mommy!!

Jonathen flipped Erwin in midair and slammed him

Vegeta: (Sigh) 1...2...2 ½... ...ah man that Giants game was good ... (yawn) 3... ring the bell...

Jonathen: Man that was fucken easy

Erwin: Thats not fair he's like twice my size

Jonathen: Shut the fuck up

Jonathen then took his pants down and farted on his face

Erwin: Stop that you big bully!! (

Jonathen: Make me pussy

He then picked Erwin up and gave him the wedgie of a lifetime making a few girls laugh which embarrassed him even more

Vegeta: Ahahahahha well thats enough Erwin you little pussy sit down before you embarrass yourself some more.

Vegeta: Now its obvious non of you can take this guy out since he looks like he's been on steroids from the age of 3-

Jonathen: Hey!

Vegeta: But I'll show you the proper way to cut down someone to your own size!

Jonathen: haha not to be cocky teach but I'm two times your size

Vegeta: Size is not a factor in this fight come on free style!!

Jonathen: Okay here I come

Vegeta jumped up spun around and kicked Jonathen in the face sending him crashing into the wall out cold.

Vegeta: Okay here comes my... shit... I think I killed him...

David: Holy crap how'd you do that

Vegeta: I know how to fight...

Suddenly the principal burst into the room with Goku next to him with the chair still glued to his ass

Principal: You two are the worst staff members I have ever seen he has a chair glued to his ass while your beating up students!! Your fired!!

Goku: But-

Vegeta: Works for me this school is full of fucken retards anyways

Principal: Watch your language or I'm going to have to straighten you out!!

Vegeta grinned evily

Vegeta: Is that a challenge?

Class: Fight fight fight fight

Vegeta got into his boxing stance

Vegeta: Well come on now Princi PAL lets see what you got

Principal: No I didn't mean

Vegeta: Shut the fuck up

Vegeta then slugged him right in the face knocking him out

Goku: Uhh Vegeta that might now have been the best thing to do we could get arrested

Vegeta: Nice joke Kakarot me get arrested ha! Lets go home

Goku: Okay but aren't you forgetting something?

Goku said pointing to the chair attached to his ass

Vegeta: Heh thats your problem Kakarot

Vegeta then flew away leaving Goku by himself

Goku: Fuck my life!!

**Tune in for the next Episode**

**Krillin's Escape!!**


	2. Krillin's Escape

** Episode 2: Krillin's Escape**

** Zimbabue**

Krillin was currently running down a hill being chased by a million hungry tribe members.

Krillin: Fuck my life, fuck my life, fuck my life!!

He yelled as he ran full speed

Tribe Member: Run faster man we got to get us some fresh white meat!! Boom boom clat clat bumba clat!!

**Goku's house**

Chi Chi: GOHAN TURN OFF THE FUCKING STERO NOW!!

Gohan: Fuck that mom I just watched BET and they said fuck parents so fuck you mom!!

Chi Chi: Oh you &((&(&))(

Chi Chi then grabbed a frying pan and began pwning Gohan all over the house

**The Forest**

Goku decided to leave the house because he was bored

Goku: Do a little dance, do a little dance, do a little dance

Goku continued to repeat as he tried to make up his own dance which made him look like he

was physically challenged.

Goku: Gah I'm so bored, hey I know I'll call Vegeta and see if he wants to hang out.

Goku then took out his new cell phone and punched in Vegeta's number

Vegeta: Yea this is Vegeta what do you want??

Goku: Hey Vegeta its Goku wanna hang out.

The sound of the phone hanging up could be heard

Goku: Vegeta... you there?? Can you answer me?? Please??

Goku then decided to call Krillin

Krillin: AHHHHH FUCK ME, HELLO I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW!!

Goku: Hey Krillin whats up want to hang out?

Krillin: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS DON'T YOU REMEMBER THAT I GOT KIDNAPPED!!

Goku: GOD Krillin then call me when you finish shopping okay?

Krillin: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I'M NOT SHOPPING!!

Goku: Thats what she said...

Goku said as he hung up

Goku decided to fly to the Kame House

**Kame House**

Goku: Whats up hoe's!!

Oolong: Hey Goku did you get any pussy lately?

Goku: Nope Chi Chi isn't putting out that bitch.

Goku: So where's everyone

Oolong: Well I think Krillin is shopping and Roshi is inside

Goku peered through the window and saw Roshi having a hand party

Goku: Aw thats fucking gross man

Goku then flew away in disgust and took off towards Capsule Corp

**Capsule Corp**

Trunks: NO FATHER YOU CAN'T USE MY SWORD TO SCRATCH YOUR NUTS FUCK OUTTA HERE!!

Goku: Hey Trunks

Trunks: Hey Goku

Goku: Whats happening?

Trunks: Father thinks my sword would be perfect for taking care of the itch on his nutsack.

Goku: Okay...

Vegeta then walked out

Vegeta: FUCK...Kakarrot is here...

Goku: What you told me to come!

Vegeta: No actually I hung up the phone.

Goku: So?

Vegeta: Which means I DON'T WANNA FUCKING TALK TO YOU!!

Trunks: Guys can we not fight the Cell games are in a week we have to get ready.

Suddenly Yamcha ran out

Yamcha: DUDE you gotta check this out Cell made his own porn video its AWESOME!!

They all walked in to see Bulma watching the big screen

Cell: YES YOU PUNY EARTHLING LICK MY METALLIC PENIS LICK IT!!

Cell: YES, YES, YES

Cell then whipped it out

Everyone: WHOA!!

Vegeta: Thats preposterous his penis is over 9000!!

Goku: Thats one big cock I think together me and Vegeta couldn't have a bigger dick then that.

Suddenly Krillin walked in all beat up with a piece of his ear missing.

Goku: Hey Krillin!!

Goku: How was shopping did you buy me anything??

Krillin: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!! I WAS NOT SHOPPING.

Trunks: Yes you were remember you got off the ride and you were like I have to go shopping.

Krillin: NO YOU FUCKING PRICKS THEW ME OFF THE RIDE REMEMBER!!

Everyone: No...

Goku: I'm pretty sure you went shopping Krillin.

Krillin: A piece of my ear is missing!!

Goku: How did that happen?

Krillin: IT HAPPENED WHEN YOU THREW ME OFF THE CAR AND I GOT RAPED BY A MILLION HUNGRY TRIBE MEMBERS!!

Goku: Gee Krillin you play too many video games

Krillin: ...

Krillin then got into fetal position and began sucking his thumb and crying hysterically

Goku: Wow maybe you should have bought some medication when you went shopping

Krillin: ...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**And episode 2 comes to an end hope you enjoyed!! )**


	3. The Cell Games

Episode 3: The Cell Games!

Goku awoke to the sound of hot air blowing into his face.

Yamcha: Yea, bitch!! BEEF STEW!! HAHAHAA

Goku: Ah you fag, you just farted in my face!!

Yamcha: Yea, I know dick, now hurry up the Cell Games started like 20 minutes ago everyone died.

Goku: Shit!!

Goku then jumped out of bed and began putting on his clothes

Yamcha: Yo chill I'm just messing, everyones fine but their all waiting for you!

Goku: What!?

Yamcha: Yea, were all sitting there and everyones like wheres Goku? So I came to get you.

Goku: Fuck lets go!

Goku made his way for the door

Chi Chi: Goku don't forget your coat!

Goku: Fuck you hoe!

With that Goku and Yamcha flew to the Cell Games.

--

Cell: Okay, seriously where the hell is Goku. If he doesn't show up in 1 minute I'm going to

kill you all!!

Suddenly Goku and Yamcha landed.

Everyone: FINALLY!!

Goku: Yea haha I overslept.

Vegeta: Fucking idiot!!

Cell: Good now Goku what do you say me and you get started.

Goku looked at Cell and grinned evily.

Goku: Cell, what the fuck do we look like morons to you? Akira Toriyama may have defied all common sense by having us watch one person fight you but its not happening twice.

With that everyone powered up. Trunks, Vegeta,Gohan, and Goku all transformed into Super Saiyans.

Goku: ALL RIGHT EVERYONE LETS DO THIS!!

With that everyone powered up and shot a huge blast at Cell.

Cell: OH SHI-

The blasts made contact killing Cell instantly.

Everyone powered down.

Trunks: Umm so what now?

Goku: Uhh you guys up for a game of freeze tag?

Everyone except Vegeta: HELL YEA!!

Vegeta: FUCK YOU FAGOTS!!

He then flew away.

--

Vegeta: I can't believe that idiot "you guys up for a game of freeze tag!" is he serious.

Vegeta walked into a burger king and ordered

Cashier: What will ya have?

Vegeta: Gimme a space burger!

The cashier looked at Vegeta like he was retarded.

Cashier: Wha-

Vegeta: I SAID GIVE ME A FUCKEN SPACE BURGER!!

The Cashier trembled in fear.

Cashier: U-uh s-s-sir we only have Burger King related s-s-stuff.

Vegeta: FINE give me a big mac.

Vegeta then sat down and began to eat. A couple of teen girls sat behind him and laughed.

Girl 1: Look at his hair hehehe.

Girl 2: Whats he supposed to be sonic the hedgehog.

Vegeta stood up turned around and glared at them.

Vegeta: You think thats funny don't you!!

Girl 1: Eww you have lettuce stuck in your teeth ahahahhaha

Girl 2: HAHAHAHHAHAHA

Vegeta: FUCK THIS!!

Vegeta then walked out of the restaurant and yelled

Vegeta: BIG BANG ATTACK!!

He completely annihilated the restaurant.

**Next Episode 4: Future Restored Preview**

_Trunks: Its time to end this 17 and 18! Your reign of terror is over._

_17: You know we have on/off switches on the back of us right?_

_Trunks: AW WHAT THE FUCK!!  
_


	4. Future Peace

Episode 4: Future Restored

Trunks walked onto the front lawn getting ready leave back to the future.

Trunks: Where's father?

Bulma: He couldn't see you off he said he's busy.

Trunks: Oh well see ya guys its been fun.

(Meanwhile)

Vegeta: MAN THE BACKSTREET BOYS RULE!!

Vegeta began break dancing

------------------------------------------------------------

Trunks landed in his timeline

Trunks: Alright time to slap some hoes!

Trunks flew at high speed towards the Androids.

Android17: Oh my look 18 here comes Trunks.

Trunks: Alright Androids its over!!

17: You realize we have switches on the back of us right?

Trunks: What? AW FUCK!!

Trunks: You mean to tell me all this time you had on/off switches!!

18: Yea retard. Everyone was too stupid to realize.

Suddenly some fat drunk walked up behind the Androids.

Drunk: Hey what does this do (Click)

17: NOOOOO.........

18: NOOOOO.......

Trunks:.............he defeated the Androids...........him....... a fat drunk...........

Drunk: (Fart) ah man where the hell am I?

Trunks: All this time I've been training and they had a switch on behind them and then.... he

saves the world...........AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Drunk: Whoa dude chill the fuck out.

1 Week Later

Trunks: Hmm Cell should be showing up soon.

Trunks sat in his chair looking at porn.

Suddenly the doorbell rang.

Bulma: Trunks its for you.

Trunks: Oh cool!

Trunks ran to the living room to discover Cell standing there.

Bulma: Trunks I didn't know you were friends with foreign exchange students, good for you.

Trunks: Mom he's a fucken Android!!!

Bulma: Oh.....well I suppose he's gonna try to kill us now.

Cell: That would be correct.

Trunks: Wait uh can we take this outside I don't wanna mess up the house, you know how moms

are.

Cell: Tell me about it Dr. Gero is the same way.

Trunks and Cell stepped outside

Trunks: Alright now where were we.

Cell: Oh me trying to kill you haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Trunks: Oh yea that

Trunks drew his sword and split Cell in half

Trunks: Well that was easy.

Trunks: I think I'll go tell everyone the good news.

-----------------------------------

3 hours later Trunks arrived in the present

Trunks arrived at capsule corp where everyone was hanging out.

Trunks: Hey guys I saved the future!!

Vegeta: NO ONE FUCKEN CARES!!

Goku: Be nice Veggie.

Vegeta: DO NOT CALL ME THAT!!!

Goku: Okay...... Veggie burger....

Vegeta: GOD DAMMIT

Vegeta then stormed inside

Krillin then walked outside

Krillin: Hey guys

Trunks: Who's the new guy?

Goku: I dunno, whats your name bald man.

Krillin: You guys are kidding right!! ITS KRILLIN FUCKEN KRILLIN!!!

Trunks: Nope not ringing any bells.

Krillin: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Suddenly Broly landed and blasted Krillin away

Goku: Hey you killed the new guy.

Broly: KAKAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!

Goku: Yea?

Broly: KAKAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!

Goku: YES!??

Broly: KAKAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!

Goku: WHAT DAMMIT!

Broly: Hi.


End file.
